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June 06 Cops, catz and StuffHello my dear loyal readers, When Bob Dylan said, "Times they are a changin'", he must have been talking about my day. We got a new Post Commander today. I don't know him all that well but it's going to be a big enough change. Our buck sergeant is getting transferred and his replacement has been here before, I know him, and I like working with him. I'm just going to miss Dog. He's a great guy, friend and supervisor. I'm going to miss his positive energy in the mornings. Our Corporal is going to be promoted by the end of the month so we'll have a new Corporal by July 1st. It's going to be clash of the egos around here and as one of the troopers just said, "We are going to shit now!" Needless to say, morale is in the toilet. In other work related news, word is that they may not post for my promotion for SEVERAL months and maybe by the end of the year. On a good, and bad, note, we finally sold Bella yesterday. She was a sweet dog and we loved her, but due to her squealing problem and the fact that we didn't have the time to spend with her to train her, we felt the need to let her go to another good home. She will be missed, but I'm hoping that her new family will send occasional email updates and pictures of her. I was feeling very sad yesterday after Bella left, but around 8pm, David called me to come outside. Apparently, we have now seen Tigerbaby's kittens. David saw a white one with a black tail yesterday afternoon so we attempted to trap it so that we could start getting it used to people. Well, we trapped something last night. We got a solid black kitten and a grey tabby about 6 weeks old. Had to try and get them back out as Tigerbaby was losing her mind that she couldn't get to them. I've got a few scratches on my hands and arms, but no worse for wear and Tigerbaby got her babies back. They are waaaaayyyy too cute!!! I'm going to try to re-trap them and put them on the front screened in porch so that they can grow accustomed to us. We've had 3 wild cats as kittens and now they can't seem to leave us alone. Boo, Tigerbaby and Morris were ALL afraid of us, but now they freak out if we come in the house without them. I love being loved like that. Nothing is more soothing than the feel of a cat purring on your chest. Nothing is more uplifting than a cat meowing to you. Nothing is more hilarious than getting a cat totally focused on the bird on a string and someone else coming up from behind and yelling, "AHA!!!!!!" at the cat to make it jump 4 feet in the air. I know from experience. The last feat was accomplished when David was holding Morris's attention with the bird on a stick with a bell toy. I was sitting on the swing and all at once shouted, "AHA KITTY!!!!!" as loud as I could. Morris jumped 4 feet in the air, took off running, did a U-turn back to Mommy for protection. I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants. David laughed so hard he almost fell backwards in the chair. Cats are such good sports. Don't get me wrong, I love my dogs, but sometimes cats are more fun to play with. Hugs to all of you! Take care! May 21 I'd like depressed and moody for $1000, AlexHard to believe that it's been several months since I posted. I haven't been up to too much lately. We went to Cherokee, NC for our vacation. Hubby decided that he wants to find his heritage, so that's what we're working on right now. I've found a new release for my stress. I bought us a used pool table for $100.00. I find myself playing almost daily.
I know I use this blog to bitch and complain about what's happening in my life, but it's cathartic to me and I feel better sharing this with my friends. Heck, none of you lives close enough to share that daily cup of coffee with, so go grab yourself a cup of java and read about the whirlwind that I call life. I'm going to try to keep this down to a one cup minimum. You need the caffeine and I need to vent, yet again.
As you know, I'm up for a promotion that won't advertise until July 1st. I've been preparing for this job for 2 years, since I came back here. You're also well aware that there is an interloper who is trying to steal this job out from under me. She's been coming here, supposedly to "learn about the job", for the last 3 weeks. Well, it's really starting to wear me down and get me VERY depressed. David said it was the Devil working on my nerves, and he's doing a great job at it. I keep praying for sanity, but I just feel like bursting into tears every day. She came in today and had a KEY to the office! What the hell??? She spoke to me this morning and I off-handedly asked her if she was taking over for the Troop Secretary. She said, "I don't know. I guess so!" Then she kind of giggled. I wanted to slug her right in the face!!! I'm not a violent person, but I could tell that I was about to lose it so I just came back to my office and shut the door. I had to breathe deeply and hold back the tears. This woman's never been a secretary before and is trying to learn this job and getting an unfair advantage, when I don't have time to learn the new job because I'm here doing MY JOB!!!! Okay, I'm irrational now. I know the job hasn't posted yet and my former Post Commander, now Lieutenant, has assured me that they are considering me too. I have a sneaking suspicion that this witch is going to get this job. David said that this may be God's way of seeing how I work under pressure. I'm holding my own, but I'm upset nonetheless. I've worked hard for this promotion and in 2 years I've learned what I can to get it. Maybe she's just wasting her time being here, but it's intimidating the HELL out of me. Part of me just feels like giving up. Let's be honest here, if she's going to be here every day training for a job, then what's the point of me trying to get it after she's been taken under the wing and trained for it? The more I think of it, the more pissed off and depressed I become. I can't NOT think about this situation since the skank is here DAILY!!! I'm off to go wallow in a Billy Joel CD. Take care and hugs to you all. :) -J. February 26 Yes, I'm stupid.I made the mistake and thought this was going to be a warm week, alas it's colder than...well...an iceberg. It's been pouring down rain since this morning, but I think it's about ended. I'm just chillin' out at work today. I've done all I need to do, so I'm just hanging around until time for me to go home. Yes, it is nice to have a job like that.
Funny thing happened to me last night, but it wasn't discovered until this morning by a co-worker. I was cleaning my sand dollars in some bleach on Saturday. Well, I went to take them out of the bleach last night and put them in cold water. I was trying to separate them out (good ones/bad ones). I never thought I would get a chemical burn on my hand and burn all the hair off my hand. Yes, the EMT screwed the pooch on this one and have the injuries to prove it. I had to laugh at my own stupidity though. I realized, way too late, I had forgotten to dilute the bleach. Uh...DUH!!!!! Oh, well, I'll live. Yes, here's my sign.(I'm Stupid)
I've finished another assignment for my writing class. It' s a short story involving a ghost. I'm not going to give anything else away about my story, but I think it has plenty of potential to make a longer, chapter book later on. I'm just proud of myself for having the gumption to take this class. Hope you're all well. Take care! February 11 Ho HumHaving a crappy day doesn't begin to describe how I'm feeling. I sent one of my coworkers an email about someone of whom she was the supervisor. I just told her of some work related issues that were going on with this employee. This woman then turned around and showed it to MY supervisor and who tried to make it into a bigger issue. I guess I'll just shut the F*ck up and not say another word. I was actually trying to help this person, but NEVERMIND NOW!!!! One thing I hate the most are backstabbing bitches who can't be trusted. That just pisses me off to NO END!!! Now, I look like a whiney bitch to my supervisors and that just isn't the case!!!! I hate assholes!!! My heart breaks because I thought I could trust the people who are considered "family". Guess not. Oh, well... chalk it up to my gullible and innocence in trusting people. I think I'm going to go back to my "Yankee ways" and not trust anyone.
I have been enjoying my writing. So much, in fact, that I would love to eventually just write full time. That is if I can ever get published. Thank GOD I've found my true passion. Take care! January 28 A Sad AnniversaryHard to believe that 22 years ago today, 7 amazing lives were lost. I remember where I was when I learned that the Shuttle Challenger had "exploded". In actuality, it did not explode, but disintegrated. The "passenger cabin" did in fact make it out of the disintigration in one piece, but it will be forever unknown if any of the astronauts were alive as the shuttle crashed into the ocean. My mom knew one of the finalists who was in the running with Christa McAuliffe. Talk about hitting close to home! I was in the 9th grade and was studying in my English classroom for a vocabulary test. In honor of these 7 brave souls. This is my rememberance and tribute.
"High Flight" by John Gillespie Magee, Jr.:
January 24 My "new" so-called life.As I stated yesterday, I didn't put in for the open position at my old post. I'm really glad that I didn't try to dredge up the past. I'm starting 2008 out on the right foot, so to speak. Since my birthday is a week from today, I have decided to plunge head first into living life on my terms. Since I'm taking this writing as seriously as possible, I broke down and bought a new notebook computer. I'm just going to be using it for writing, but I wasn't going to be purchasing a clunker. It's a brand spanking new computer from Dell and it should be arriving just in time for my birthday next week. I can't believe I'll be 37. I'm not bothered by it, but then again, why should I be. Age IS just a number anyway. Heck, there are SOME times that I don't even remember how old I am. It takes me a second to figure it out.
While I was driving to work this morning, I realized that I've been living my life in fast mode. There was a tractor trailer behind me driving like he was the white rabbit late for a date. I kept having to speed up to keep from getting run over and soon I noticed that on a single lane road, I was driving nearly 80mph to keep this jerk behind me from driving up my tail pipe! It was then that I realized that I've been living life too fast. Hubby says I drive like an old granny, but I don't live my life this way. Therefore, I'm going to try to change for the better. I'm going to slow down and start enjoying my life. My mom is constantly telling me that "Life is too short", I guess it's about time I listen to her. Taking this new writing class was a Christmas gift to myself and through it, I'm hoping to eventually do what I've always dreamed of doing. I can't say that I'm a little scared of venturing into the unknown world of writing and publishing, but the adventure is going to be worth it. Take care and hugs! January 23 Happy New Year!It's a little belated (ahem 3 Weeks!) but Happy New Year anyway. 2008 has already started out with a bang. I started my writing class and I'm really enjoying it. I think it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. I'm hoping to finally get published by the end of the year. Work's fine. My old Post has a secretary position open and my old trooper friends are hounding me to get a transfer to take the job. I'm OVERLY hesitant to change job locations due to past issues with some of the troopers who are still at that Post. I LOVE my job and I LOVE my Post. I would be an idiot to think that the grass is greener at my old Post. Although it would be MUCH closer to home, and I really miss my ghost, I just can't see how there could be anything redeeming at that Post. It's a nice thing to know that some of the troopers I used to work with, want to work with me again. It really makes me feel loved and appreciated. However, I just can't turn my back on a Post of troopers who have given me a chance and put their faith in me. When all seemed lost and hopeless, the people at this Post gave me a chance to prove myself and have allowed me to grow both personally and professionally. I love these people and I want to give them 200% every day. So, I guess there's no question. I'm going to stay where I am.
Take care and hugs!!! December 20 Christmastime is ComingAs Christmas is almost upon us, I haven't had much time for blogging. My sister is coming to stay a few days with me leading up the the holiday. I'm really hoping that she and I can begin to form a relationship. I've been afraid of her and angry at her for years, but both of us believe that our Mom was the one who tried to keep us at odds. I'm so excited that she's coming down and that we will have some "us" time. I invited my parents down also and they said they are only coming down for a few hours on Christmas. It was okay for Hubby and I to uproot our lives for a week while they went to NYC and we stayed at their house to look after their damn dog, but they won't honor their half of the agreement that they were going to come spend 2 days with us! Apparently, they want to spend Christmas Eve alone (and with their friends) then to spend it with us. I sense that the relationship I have with my Mom is going to be very different soon. She's already lied to me and has said that she would rather spend Christmas Eve with her "friends" than with the family. Looks and appearances were always more important to her. That's one reason I am the way I am. That stuff just doesn't matter to me!
I don't have many friends outside of work so my coworkers are my friends (and extended family). I'm going to be off from work all next week and it saddens me that I won't get to see them. Sounds crazy, I know, but I miss not being here. I LOVE my job AND the guys I work with! Maybe that's one reason I feel like I've found the ideal job. I am so thankful for the things I have, the people I know and the life that I have. Since I didn't send out Christmas cards this year, and a few of my friends actually stop by here and read this, I would just like to say that I'm sincerely grateful for your friendship! Have a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year!!!! November 19 ThanksgivingSince Thanksgiving is this week, I've got loads to do at work since I won't be in next week. I'm heading to my parents house so that they can go out of town. Too bad they won't take me with them as I'd LOVE to get back to NYC. I'll be doing my usual ritual of recording the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I saw it live many times as a child and it's always been a tradition in my house. So in honor of Thanksgiving, here are some rules to follow when you go to another family member's home for Thanksgiving. These rules are based on Tyler Perry's character, Madea (as in Madea's Family Reunion). I love Madea and can honestly tell you that these rules also apply in my house when we have company for Thanksgiving. So without further adieu, here are Madea's Rules!
10 RULES FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER AT MY HOUSE
2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your butt down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate. 3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little butts to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will tear their butts up and you better not ask why! 4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes. 5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be asked to stay your greedy butt home next year! 6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding. And why are you making plates before you eat? You never bring a dish or offer a dime do you? 7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!! 8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call CPS! 9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and go home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring. 10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET! October 24 Catching up with lifeWell, football season is in full swing and Hubby's brain has gone into the proverbial toilet. We got the concrete pad poured for the addition to the side porch. It looks really nice with the new hot tub on it! Yes, we finally got a hot tub. Let me tell you it is awesome!!! Nothing like sitting in the hot tub on a cool night and watching the steam rise. That's my own little retreat while Hubby's doing his thing. One of our little dachshunds, Mini-Me, disappeared yesterday night. He'd figured out how to get out of the fence and before Hubby could fix it, Mini-Me disappeared. Hubby searched the neighborhood and knocked on all the doors to let people know that "Min" was out, but no one has seen him. I'm worried about his safety and the fact that he doesn't have any food! It rained all day and night and I know Mini-me is afraid of water (I have no idea why). I keep hoping that he's going to find his way home again, but deep down, I know that I may never see him again.
On a brighter note, our cats are doing fine. Tigerbaby has been trying to dominate Boo and Morris, but it's not working too well. Morris is currently learning to trust me and lets me pet him. He likes to jump on the swing and sit next to me while I pet him and massage him. He's too cute and has started "Meowing" at me when I stop petting him. His best friend and cousin, Boo, are like two peas in a pod. Boo has really become the loving cat I always hoped for. Before the attack 4 months ago, Boo wasn't into letting us get too close to him. Now, he has to sit on the swing next to the back door and wait until I come out. Wherever I am, there's Boo. He and I have grown very attached to each other. Tigerbaby is 100% Hubby's cat and that's just fine with me.
Work is good. Keeping busy to say the least. We are having our tri-annual inspection in less than 2 weeks. It's actually conducted by two people from HQ and they look at EVERYTHING!!! They will be here for 4 days and although I've gotten all of the paperwork ready for them, I'm STILL a nervous wreck. I know, I know it's the OCD in me that feels like everything has to be perfect. What can I say?
Hope you're all doing well. Take care! September 27 Yes, I finally made it backOur vacation was good, but it wasn't without its drama. Hubby's father was being pig-headed and went down some stairs with out a light on. He missed a step and fell and broke his arm near his shoulder. So, hubby's parents left a day early. I have to admit I wasn't at all sad to see them go. The beach was amazing and we still managed to have a great time. I got several books about ghosts and haunted Savannah locations. I've already started reading them.
It has finally begun to cool down around here. Work, as usual, is awesome and I've just been busy doing paperwork and organizing. LOL Football season is well underway and in the South, I've really learned that football here is like a religion. I'm stunned at how life just STOPS when a football game is being played. From high school to college to Pro, people in the south seem to have tunnel vision when it comes to the throwing of the "pigskin". Hubby becomes physically and mentally paralized when the games are on and I'm actually glad that he's out of the house and helping out the local high school team. He doesn't seem to understand that I don't give a hoot about football. I don't know the players, but with the high school team, he manages to ramble on and on about the players. He knows them by name and proceeds to tell me about the game. Personally, I'm just not interested. Books, movies, music, I'm there with ya and LOVE to hear about it; football, forget it.
Boo is doing well and loves to play outside. Boo is no longer a she, but is, in fact, a HE! He and Morris are best friends and are learning to get along with their respective mothers and love to run around in the yard, teasing the dogs. Don't worry, the cats have learned their lesson. Hubby and I are going to be working on a new project now that the closet and spare rooms are finished. We are going to be moving our chain link fence inward and shrinking our fenced in yard by 1/3. Don't worry, all of the dogs will be fine, but now we'll be able to build on to our existing side porch and then screen it in. Our plans for this endeavor include possibly adding in a hot tub/spa, and possibly connecting our porch to Oasis. This will possibly add 2 rooms to our house which will be even better!
Mom and Dad are headed to New York City the week after Thanksgiving so I'm going to be out of town petsitting for them. I hope they will have a great time as they are going to be with a group of friends for this trip. I would love to go as I KNOW I would love to get back "home", but as it stands, maybe later in life. :) Hope you're all doing well. Take care! August 20 Do Not Disturb My BrainOne week from today and I'll be on the beach!!!! The idea of just being away from home for a while is refreshing and I'm anticipating the fun! Sun, surf, sand and seashells are all I'll need for a few days. Don't get me wrong, I still love my job, but I'm thrilled to be able to get away from here for a while. One week.... and counting!!!!! August 10 Vcation is around the corner!!!!!!It's supposed to be hot again today. We reached a new record yesterday with a high of 105! I worry about our little cats outside. It's soooo hot! I bring them in at night but there's no one home today to let them in and they can't stay in the house full time as they HATE it! I'll be ready for some snow if the heat doesn't let up. Well, in just 2 1/2 weeks I'll be on the beach! Tybee Island has been mine and Hubby's "getaway" place for years, but usually we go in the winter when it's not cold, but it's not hot either. It's comfortable and there's hardly anyone there except the locals. Too bad we can't afford to buy a house there and just live there when we want to. In a bold and possibly stupid move, I invited Hubby's parents to come with us. They're insistant to bring their little Chihuahua dogs, but we've rented a house so maybe they won't be as bothersome. Hubby's mother and I get along fairly well, that is when she isn't making snide and snarky comments about me. I've gotten used to it and if I hadn't already become used to her rudeness, I probably wouldn't have invited them. Besides, Tybee is a big enough island so I won't have to have her shoved up my ass all the time. LOL Either way, I'm just glad to be getting away from the house for a while. I'm the one who planned this trip and did all the checking on houses so my in laws SHOULD be kissing my ass right now. I've handled every aspect of searching for the place to stay, signing contracts, working with the agent, paying the fees, etc. Wonder if I could do like the vikings and just stick the in laws on a long boat, set it ablaze and send it out to sea? LOL I know, that's mean and a sick joke. I'm sorry.
I've been working really hard lately. Between deadlines and inspections, it's been a challenge to get everything finished, but I will say that I'm LOVING it! Someone asked me if I would ever try to transfer and be closer to home, and I told her , "No Way". Once you're around a small group every day, they become your family. This IS my family. These guys are like my brothers and the women here are like my sisters. It's interesting how I trust every one of them, when I usually have a hard time trusting people. I feel comforted in knowing that they trust me as well. They know that I'm only here to help them and to make sure they have what they need. Kinda like a mom, isn't it? One of the troopers brought his 8 month old daughter by here to see me. He warned me that when he gave her to me that she would poke out her lip and start to cry. He said that she does it to everybody, even to grandparents, but there was nothing to worry about. From the moment I held that precious little girl, she never once poked out her lip, never cried, just giggled, smiled and laughed. This was enough of a big deal that the Trooper's wife called me to tell me that I was the only person she had not cried with. I felt SO blessed! The irony of it all is that my mother in law once made a loud remark to my best friend, while I was holding my best friend's new baby that I didn't know how to care for a baby. Yeah, like SHE was an expert. Oh well....back to work. Take care!!!!!!!! July 24 Busy, Busy, Busy What an interesting surprise that MSN has changed more about their spaces. Hubby and I are planning a vacation! We are heading to Tybee Island again but this time we'll be there in the summer and not the winter. We'll still be back for Ghostock, but this time we just want to get away. The only (sort of) bad part is that we are going to be sharing a house with his parents. They are nice people, but sometimes we just don't get along. Maybe things will work out as we'll only be there for 4 days. Either way, I'm glad to just be getting away to the BEACH and getting back to my element. It's been a busy month for me as my father and sister came down last Saturday. My sister is moving into a condo and wanted to get some of the furniture I've had in storage. It was a short visit so things weren't so bad.
I'm headed to a baby shower this Saturday. It's going to be my first and I'm really nervous. It's for Hubby's partner at work and she's a sweet girl! I guess I'm nervous because I can't have children and that was always a sore subject for me. Now that I've put my life and brain on a different course and I've accepted my failures, I just a wee bit nervous.
One of my best friends was SUPPOSED to come down for a visit in 2 weeks, but I haven't heard from her. It wouldn't bother me a bit if she didn't show up. Hubby has only half-assed worked on the closet. He's torn the wall out and then left it. Both spare rooms are packed with everything that was in the closets and it's nearly impossible to MOVE in there. I would hope that since I haven't heard from her she's not coming, otherwise that would mean that she is going to show up unannounced and then I'll be stuck as to where to put her. :(
Hope you have a great week! Hugs and Take care! July 13 Rough weeks deserve soft furHere's a little update. Boo is doing beautifully!! She's literally back the way she was with the exception that she loves to be held and purrs all the time. Boo is back to jumping and running and loves to hide inside cardboard boxes.
On a sad note, Piglet passed away on Monday. He had some obvious respiratory problems and started refusing to eat. We did all we could for him, but he just didn't make it. :( We found Piglet's brother under the deck and named him, Morris. He's an orange and white tabby. Both of Piglet's sisters didn't make it either, sad to say. At first Boo didn't like Morris, but now she's found a little buddy and they don't like being away from one another. They're just too CUTE! Little Halloween babies! Boo and Morris - Black and Orange!
Hubby and I are fine. We went to a little auction last weekend and I got 4 little tables. They are soo sweet! The tops are cut and painted in the shape of daisies and sunflowers. The legs and bodies are green like stems and leaves. I can't describe how cute they are.
We've been getting inundated with rain this week and although we need it, I'm sick of the humidity. It's been hard at work this week. Don't worry, my job is still awesome, but we've had 8 fatalities in less than a week. 4 of them were SMALL children ranging from 5-11 years old. 2 were teens and the other 2 were adults. It's just been really heartbreaking. I hope next week is much better. I'm still trying to decide when to take a vacation. Right now, it looks like it may be mid-August before I can get a long break. Hope you're doing well. Take care!!! June 29 Cats, cops, & stuffEverything seems to be back on track again. Whew! What a week it's been! I've been wanting to do something new these days. Kinda break out of that mid-summer rut. I've yet to take a TRUE vacation this summer and I think I'm going to have to schedule a little break, just for me. First week of the month is bad for me due to the monthly paperwork that has to be completed before inspection. Middle of the month will probably be better.
Our little black kitten, Boo, was attacked by some dogs last weekend and after an emergency trip to the vet, Boo is doing a little better. She's not up and walking yet, but she's eating like a horse and is beginning to move around. Hubby thought she was already dead, but I know that Boo is a fighter. We also found one of Lily's babies on Sunday. He's a tabby and looks just like a tiger cub. Lily refused to care for him so we are now his parents. He's about 3 weeks old and takes about 6-12cc's of milk 4-5 times a day. He cries constantly, but he's getting better. He's too cute! I told Hubby to name him, but after nearly a week with no name (Hubby wanted to call him "Shithead") I've named him "Piglet". He eats like a pig and LOVES to root around under pillows, blankets, etc. It's a lot more crazy trying to get him fed, but it's different and I like it.
I'm beginning to wish there was an intelligence test that was mandatory before obtaining a driver's license. People are consistantly coming into our office to get their driver's license reinstated, renewed, etc. The driver's license office is next door, plainly and boldly marked. However, these morons keep coming in here. One thing I CAN say is that Georgia is FULL of stupid drivers!!!! One guy came in and wanted to know where he could PHYSICALLY go to get his driver's license renewed. One of the other girls here told him he could PHYSICALLY go next door to do that. I thought to myself, is it possible to MENTALLY or EMOTIONALLY go and get a driver's license??? Maybe that guy need to go somewhere else to CHECK on his MENTALITY!!!! It's funny how people can be so incompetent! That's one reason I love this job. LOL
Hope you're all doing well. Take care! June 20 New MeaningsI'm still a little blue, but I ran across this song the other day and I had to share it. Well, the words anyway. The first time I heard it, I found several different meanings in what it's saying, but as it applies to me now, I see something totally different in it.
Easy Silence
When the calls and conversations Accidents and accusations Messages and misperceptions Paralyze my mind Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving Burning fumes of gasoline And everyone is running And I come to find a refuge in the Easy silence that you make for me It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me And the peaceful quiet you create for me And the way you keep the world at bay for me The way you keep the world at bay Monkeys on the barricades Are warning us to back away They form commissions trying to find The next one they can crucify And anger plays on every station Answers only make more questions I need something to believe in Breathe in sanctuary in the Easy silence that you make for me It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me And the peaceful quiet you create for me And the way you keep the world at bay for me The way you keep the world at bay Children lose their youth too soon Watching war made us immune And I've got all the world to lose But I just want to hold on to the Easy silence that you make for me It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me And the peaceful quiet you create for me And the way you keep the world at bay for me The easy silence that you make for me It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me And the peaceful quiet you create for me And the way you keep the world at bay for me The way you keep the world at bay for me The way you keep the world at bay June 19 Still feeling a bit blueI'm feeling a little better today now that I'm back at work. My mother has apologized for being so mean and nasty, however it's up to me to stop this cycle of psychological abuse. It's obvious from her emails that this is just like physical abuse only with words. Even the excuses and words are the SAME!!! I'm going to take a break from this "family" thing for awhile and I'm going to try to focus on my birthfamily for a while. I still want to get to know my brothers and birthmother and being "free" from my Mom for a while will allow me to do this, guilt free! Jules sent me this wonderful poem today and I think it expresses EXACTLY how I feel. Thanks to Jules for reading my mind, yet again. Take care!
"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you." Copyright (c) 2000 Stacey Charter June 17 Treated like crap...again!!!!!Hubby and I just got back from my family reunion (father's side). It was horrid and I wanted to come home soon after we'd arrived. My sister now has Bozo hair (the color of) and looks terrible. My mother, as usual, was stuck up my sister's ass all day yesterday. Nothing new there. I got to see one of my best friends though. Hubby and I went to see her last night for a few hours and we had a great time catching up. I had gone to my parent's house early to help them get ready for the reunion. I thought I was being a big help, until we arrived back home today. There was a vicious, nasty email from my mom that she wrote after I'd left. Apparently, she couldn't find anything to bitch at me about (hell I'd bought her 2 movies, baked all the desserts for the reunion, and helped her out), but she still found a way to cut me to the core. Like I posted in my earlier blog, my mother has always made snide and ugly remarks to me about my mouth and today was no different. Her nasty email ended like this. "I love you dearly, but you talk too much". Great way to tell your kids you love them, right? This is the pot calling the kettle black. At this point, I've told my mother to stay out of my life and not to ever mention my name again. The other half of my brain really wonders if I should just try to stick with my birthmother and my brothers. They don't know me very well, but I've NEVER been treated so badly by them either. Right now, I'm nearly in tears because I'm sick of people going out of their way to be so cruel and nasty to me. Guess I've just been played and used again, only to be thrown out a short time later with the trash. My mother's excuses for her behavior are always the same. She constantly says that she's "tired", or "you miss understood me", or the greatest one-"there are more things going one here that you don't know about so please excuse me." As far as I'm concerned, this is a form of mental abuse. I'm tired of this crap! It's up to me to stop this cycle of abuse. In the past, I've always gone back and excused her behavior because she's my "mom". This enabling has got to stop now and I'm just the one to do it. Wonder what's going to happen next? Take care. June 07 Stop judging me....Wow, I've had exactly 7600 views since I started this. What an accomplishment. I see that no one's been coming by anymore and I guess that's because it's summertime and no one likes to be inside while it's pretty outside.
I've been wrestling with something lately. Apparently, I talk too much. I'm loud, I'm too honest, I'm too opinionated and I just talk all the time. I was chastised about this when I was a child and according to my mom, it "turned all the other kids off." As an adult, I've tried not to talk to much, but still those insults are said and they are just as hurtful then as they are now. I can't help the way I am. If people dislike me because of it then don't let the screen door bang you in the ass while you leave. I feel that a lot of people don't like me. Not the people I work with, mind you. It's the people I thought were my friends. What is wrong with people that they are just too mean to everyone else? I'm afraid that as a society, we just don't give a shit anymore. I'm a big woman. Yes, nearly the size of a house but still....that's me. I hate being big, but besides the fact that it's genetic, I just can't lose weight. Seriously, I didn't fit into my mother's mold and I wasn't thin enough at 12 so from that minute on, I was forced onto diets which basically screwed my metabolism for the rest of my life. The PCOS I have doesn't help at all either. So I guess I'm just a big fat woman with a big fat mouth. People don't like be for my size or my weight, well, I say "Fuck off!"
I'm a nice person. I like to laugh, I love comedies, I cry and I feel. I'm just as human as those Victoria Secret models, but I just don't vomit right after I eat. I fight for causes I believe in and I will admit that I am my own worst critic. Does that make me any less of a person? I don't think so. I will admit that I'm just as critical and judgemental of people as everyone else. However, the buck stops here. Don't judge me and I'm not going to judge you. Of all my faults and insecurities, my weight and my big mouth have always been harsh realities for me.
I remember one of my best friends told me, 12 years ago, that I was never to call her again. We'd been friends for over a decade, but then she just took away her friendship with out asking me first. I was telling my mom about it and she said that it was probably because this person was tired of my big mouth and embarrassed by my weight. I was also told that this girl never really wanted to be my friend but that her mother had insisted she be my friend. Kind of a harsh reality, isn't it? Either way, I just want people to stop judging others on appearance. If your friend talks a lot, just accept it or move on. If your friend could stand to lose some weight, again, accept it or move on! Had my friend just told me the truth 12 years ago, I wouldn't be wondering about it all of these years.
Since no one has been stopping by for a while, I'm going to just start venting on here. I don't really have much of a sounding board at home and I need to get these feelings out. Take care!!!! |
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